Somewhat damaged
by Veelana
Summary: Ron is dying. Slash! Some bad language


Warnings: some bad language, character death

Rating: PG-13 only to be sure (some bad language)

Disclaimer: The Characters are not mine – sadly. They belong to JKR. I'm not making any money with this (or anything else), just check my bank account...

Archive: Yes to list archives, everyone else – ask and thou wilt receive

Feedback: Pretty please? With sugar on it? purrrrrr

Authors note: This fic demanded to be written. I don't like songfics, POV, character death and PG13 ratings – and that's what happened. Can't argue with a story that's already there...

Credits for the song go to Trent Reznor and NIN.

* * *

Broken...

What the hell was he doing here. Yeah, saving Harry. Whatever did he think.

Voldemort was dead, wasn't he, Harry and the others would be rounding up the remaining Deatheaters. Harry would be here any moment now.

_Sure he'll come for you, stupid head. Nothing else for him to do, is there?_

No, Harry would come. He was still his best friend!

_After what you did?_

No, maybe not. He had tried so hard to be boy wonder number 2 – and he was. Number 2. They did everything together. Harry promised they'd stay together, right?

_That was BEFORE, you moron_

Ever since their first meeting on the train, he had liked Harry. They had been through so much. Harry started chasing girls – he didn't feel too drawn to them. After some friendly experimentation he knew he wasn't into girls. He was into Harry.

_You messed up, face it!_

He had waited so long. Never said a word to Harry, always very discreet with his love life. Fighting on Harry's side, holing Harry's hand during the hardships of life, covering for Harry whenever Harry was out with some slut...

Sometimes he even thought he could tell Harry. Harry seemed so trustworthy.

_You never thought it would be that bad._

It had been horrible. Some sneaky fucker overheard him with that Ravenclaw 5th year and told the whole school. He never thought they would be that conservative here. He had been mocked, made fun of and treated badly by his fellow students.

Harry was there for him. And he was almost sure he could tell Harry the rest. But he didn't. Life went on and the end of the school year came. Somehow they made it through the finals before Voldemort attacked. They even had a quiet night to celebrate. And then...

_Face it, you blew it._

...some butterbeer and a bottle of Muggle Whisky later, he and Harry where laying on the grass by the lake, talking about everything and nothing, making promises of not loosing touch after school – and staying together in the last fight against Voldemort.

It was a perfect moment. He hadn't planned to do it, but he kissed Harry. Softly, on the lips. Not even a real kiss.

_And that asshole had nothing better to do than to run and tell the whole house how you tried to make out with him_

He'd lost his faith in everything at the moment he came to the Gryffindor common room and heard them laughing about him.

_You ran away, sissy_

He'd gone away. Drunk and not ready to face them. And then came the attack.

_you where not there to help, you left them._

Someone let Voldemort and his Deatheaters in through the dungeons. They poured from every doorway, came through every secret passage.

He saw Snape die, trying to protect the younger students in the great hall. He saw it all. He saw Dumbledore fighting Voldemort and falling, tumbling down stairs.

He saw Voldemort, raising his wand to kill Harry.

Bruised...

He'd had his share of brilliant ideas in the past – if he thought about it, physically tackling Voldemort wasn't one of them.

Of course he was stopped in the middle of his attack, was left hanging in midair, crying and kicking like a baby.

_You could have used your wand, you know_

At least he had stopped Voldemort from killing Harry. Somehow he even managed to kick the madman where it hurt.

_did you a lot of good, did it._

The revenge had been terrible, he got the magical equivalent of a good kicking and ended up in a corner, beaten to a pulp.

He'd managed to pry his eyes open, saw his wand and sent all the energy he had left in his abused body into a terrible curse and towards Voldemort.

_And where was your Harry?_

Harry had run away. Harry, who had promised to stay with him until the end left him alone.

Forgotten...

He didn't care anymore, he was beyond this point. He just lay there, hoping that everything would be over soon, that the pain would just go away.

The noise of the battle had subsided, it sounded as if it was over. Harry just had to come now. Any moment.

_Tcha right. Why should he want to be with you. Why should he want to see you?_

The kiss hadn't even been especially good. Not good enough to be worth this.

And some fragment of his mind told him that all this wouldn't have happened that way without the kiss.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

He closed his eyes and shut the world out. His head rested on the floor of the entrance hall, but he couldn't feel the cold stone beneath him.

He felt oddly calm, like his body wasn't part of him anymore.

_You're dying, you know._

He could have guessed that he would be the one who would die in the last battle. After all, Harry had to marry Ginny and live happily ever after.

The world darkened around him and all sound got muffled. He was very cold now. It was dark.

_Where are you, Harry? You promised! You and me, you said, we make it through, now I fell apart, where the fuck are you?_

He never saw Harry storming into the room, crying over his dead body, sobbing how he didn't mean it.

He never felt the kiss on his cold lips.

End


End file.
